so what the heck happened? where'd my podcast go? well, i'll tell ya. first i went to the desert for 3 weeks, then i came home and was exhausted for a week or so, and then i got a new computer (used, but new to me!)

it rules, but i'm having some issues with my music library. won't go into details.

but i've actually be keeping track of my songs for each day, all throughout my stay in the desert and ever since. like 2 months of songs!

so once the computer's all a go i'll record, like, 2 months of songs and post them and we'll be all good. k? k!

this is the last podcast i'll be doing until i return from the desert! i work for the arts organization of burning man, so i go to the desert for many weeks. i'll still be keeping track of what my 'song of the day' is, but i won't record or post another podcast until the week of 9/14 or so. maybe sooner? i dunno!

until then, enjoy...

8-02-09 - Sunday - Streamside - The Album Leaf - In a Safe Place

8-03-09 - Monday - Almost Forgot Myself - Doves - Some Cities

8-04-09 - Tuesday - Sudden Organ - Yo La Tengo - Painful

8-05-09 - Wednesday - Switch - Siouxsie & the Banshees - The Scream

8-06-09 - Thursday - Anyone Out There - Duran Duran - Duran Duran

8-07-09 - Friday - Lenth of Love - Interpol - Antics

8-08-09 - Saturday - Pretty In Pink - The Psychedelic Furs - Should God Forget - A Retrospective

what the hell happened to me this week? as you can see from the playlist, sunday i was feeling fine. a bit punchy, actually. 'i'm gonna break your face' says it all with it's ridiculously cheezy danciness. but then, oh no. oh dear. once again, i get the flu. and what a flu! delerious feverish shivering. weeee!

i didn't leave my house for a few days there, but on thursday i was back at work, back to the chaos of pre-playa planning. i think i'm through it now.

oh, and YEAH, YEAH, i see that there are two i love you but i've chosen darkness songs there. and what of it? it's my podcast. some weeks you just have to listen to your favorites over and over again. i also had a good dose of heaven up here by echo and the bunnymen, just 'cause i needed my favorite albums like they were security blankets.

7-26-09 - Sunday - I'm Gonna Break Your Face - Macadamia - The EP
7-27-09 - Monday - Dusty - Daniel Lanois - Belladonna
7-28-09 - Tuesday - Fragile - Wire - Pink Flag
7-29-09 - Wednesday - Better Strangers - I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness - According To Plan
7-30-09 - Thursday - Sleep - This Heat - Deceit
7-31-09 - Friday - The Owl - I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness - Fear Is On Our Side
8-01-09 - Saturday - Go to Sleep - Radiohead - Hail to the Thief

a little late in posting this (aren't you used to waiting by now?) but here tis. week thirty. i call this week my official homage to summer and everything it is. hot. lazy. full of fun, silly late nights out.

a good week.

7-19-09 - Sunday - Summertime Clothes - Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavilion

7-20-09 - Monday - threathawk - Innaway - Innaway

7-21-09 - Tuesday - Now Would Be - The Sky Drops - Clouds of People & Singles

7-22-09 - Wednesday - Time To Pretend - MGMT - Time To Pretend EP

7-23-09 - Thursday - The Perfect Kiss - New Order - Low-Life

7-24-09 - Friday - Moonage Daydream - David Bowie - Bowie at the Beeb

7-25-09 - Saturday - Run - Air - Talkie Walkie

7-12-09 - Sunday - soft helion - Zoviet*France - digilogue

7-13-09 - Monday - Scene III - Will Sergeant - Themes for "Grind"

7-14-09 - Tuesday - Drool - Black Dice - Load Blown

7-15-09 - Wednesday - Fire In Cairo - The Cure - Boys Don't Cry

7-16-09 - Thursday - Girl With The Vagina Made Of Glass - The Billy Nayer Show - The Villain That Love Built

7-17-09 - Friday - This Is The One - The Stone Roses - The Stone Roses

7-18-09 - Saturday - Once Beyond Hopelessness - The Flaming Lips - Christmas On Mars

geez this week's kinda all over the place. lol. ooookkkieee!

7-05-09 - Sunday - Slota Prow - Full Armour - Woven Hand - Mosaic

7-06-09 - Monday - The Barrier - A Shoreline Dream - Coastal - EP

7-07-09 - Tuesday - The Zookeeper's Boy - Mew - And The Glass Handed Kites

7-08-09 - Wednesday - Planting Seeds - Matt Elliott - Failing Songs

7-09-09 - Thursday - The Future Will Come - The Juan MacLean - The Future Will Come

7-10-09 - Friday - Trellisaze - Slowdive - Pygmalion

7-11-09 - Saturday - Are You Awake? - Kevin Shields - Lost in Translation Soundtrack

6-28-09 - Sunday - Obvist - Lomov - Fehlfarben
6-29-09 - Monday - Birthday (Manitoba Mix) - Junior Boys - Last Exit

6-30-09 - Tuesday - This Corrosion - Sisters Of Mercy - Floodland

7-01-09 - Wednesday - Whitetail - Low - Things We Lost In The Fire

7-02-09 - Thursday - Everyday I Write The Book - elvis costello - The Very Best

7-03-09 - Friday - I See A Darkness - Bonnie 'Prince' Billy - I See A Darkness

7-04-09 - Saturday - Oh! You Pretty Things - david bowie - hunky dory

6-21-09 - Sunday - My Cat - The Billy Nayer Show - Goodbye Straplight Sarentino, I Will Miss You

6-22-09 - Monday - Bicycle Race - Queen - Greatest Hits

6-23-09 - Tuesday - Marquee Moon - Television - Marquee Moon

6-24-09 - Wednesday - Public Image - P.I.L. - The Greatest Hits So Far

6-25-09 - Thursday - Not Great Men - Gang Of Four - A Brief History Of The 20th Century

6-26-09 - Friday - My Sweet Lord (remastered) - George Harrison -

6-27-09 - Saturday - Dare - The Mary Onettes - Dare

wish i had more to say besides... EGAD work is so busy right now! actually, i don't think it really is any busier than usual, but for some reason it's really wearing me out right now. i feel constantly in need of carving out down time, but it's so hard.

i try not to complain so much about it. having a job that you care about so much that it creeps into your thoughts on your off hours is really more of a blessing than a curse. and having so many good friends and fun things to do that you can't get down time really ain't so bad, either.

6-14-09 - Sunday - Empire - Black Angels - Passover

6-15-09 - Monday - Minda damer och fasaner - Dungen - 4

6-16-09 - Tuesday - Boys Don't Cry - The Cure - Boys Don't Cry

6-17-09 - Wednesday - Blue Blue Ocean - Echo and the Bunnymen - Echo and the Bunnymen

6-18-09 - Thursday - So Far Gone - The Early Years - The Early Years

6-19-09 - Friday - I Can't Stand Up - elvis costello - The Very Best

6-20-09 - Saturday - All This Will Pass - Youth Group - The Night Is Ours

6-07-09 - Sunday - My Autumn's Done Come - Tindersticks - Total Lee! The Songs Of Lee Hazlewood

6-08-09 - Monday - Latine Simone - Gorillaz - Gorillaz

6-09-09 - Tuesday - I Wanna Be Adored - The Stone Roses - The Stone Roses

6-10-09 - Wednesday - Also Frightened - Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavilion

6-11-09 - Thursday - So Young - Suede - Nude

6-12-09 - Friday - Kundalini Express - Love & Rockets - Express

6-13-09 - Saturday - Lime-Tree Arbour - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - The Boatman's Call

HEY.. there t'ain't nothin wrong with liking the beatles.

5-31-09 - Sunday - Chinese Whisperers - Wilderness - (k)no(w)here

6-01-09 - Monday - Breast Cake/Penis Sleeve - Dan Deacon - Acorn Master EP

6-02-09 - Tuesday - Yèkèrmo Sèw - Mulatu Astatqé - Ethiopiques Vol. 4: Ethio Jazz & Musique Instrumentale 1969-1974

6-03-09 - Wednesday - Douce Ambience - Gaucho - Deluxe

6-04-09 - Thursday - Fixing a Hole - The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

6-05-09 - Friday - Big Black Mariah - Tom Waits - Rain Dogs

6-06-09 - Saturday - Shadows - Yo La Tengo - I Can Hear The Heart Beating As One

5-24-09 - Sunday - Make me Dream - Flying Saucer Attack - Rural Psychedelia

5-25-09 - Monday - Flesh Canoe - Animal Collective - Feels

5-26-09 - Tuesday - Wait For The Wintertime - Yeasayer - All Hour Cymbals

5-27-09 - Wednesday - What Difference Does It Make? - The Smiths - The Smiths

5-28-09 - Thursday - Come With Us - Brian Eno & David Byrne - My Life In The Bush Of Ghosts

5-29-09 - Friday - Coda - Gavin Bryars - The Sinking Of The Titanic

5-30-09 - Saturday - Sleeping In - The Radio Dept. - Pet Grief

woah, this week didn't feel this psychedelic at the time, but looking at my track list, um, yeah, i guess it was.

this week also marks the first week i used a song twice. i was upset at first but i'll get over it. it's a good song.

5-17-09 - Sunday - Jennifer - Faust - Faust IV

5-18-09 - Monday - The Melody of a Fallen Tree - Windsor For The Derby - We Fight Till Death

5-19-09 - Tuesday - Arawan - Tinariwen - Amassakoul

5-20-09 - Wednesday - Wait For The Wintertime - Yeasayer - All Hour Cymbals

5-21-09 - Thursday - Animal Farm - The Kinks - The Village Green Preservatio

5-22-09 - Friday - Seeing Hands - Dengue Fever - Venus on Earth

5-23-09 - Saturday - Houses in Motion - Talking Heads - Remain in Light

well, what can i say, except that this week was just about what i expected it to be. life is still full of wonderful good things that i appreciate, but i still come home to one less kitty. this podcast is for my buddy. he'll never be replaced, but i'm so lucky to have had so much time with him.

meanwhile the other cat is now mad with power. more on that later.

5-10-09 - Sunday - Midnight Reprise - Macadamia - Soundspill

5-11-09 - Monday - Do You Realize? - The Flaming Lips - At War with the Mystics

5-12-09 - Tuesday - Things Behind The Sun - Nick Drake - Pink Moon

5-13-09 - Wednesday - Farewell / Goodbye - M83 - Before The Dawn Heals Us

5-14-09 - Thursday - Faith - The Cure - Faith

5-15-09 - Friday - La La Song - Low - Trust

5-16-09 - Saturday - Alone in Tokyo - Air - Talkie Walkie

so i have a pretty darn good excuse for being late with last week's podcast. my spike cat was saying goodbye to me. for the last year i saw him drop weight and knew he was getting old. we've seen the vet several times in the last 6 months or so and the last visit was a sonogram that showed extremely enlarged kidneys, liver and spleen. it was clear then that he would not survive this. still, i had hope. some kitties show improvement with treatment for kidney stuffs.

but he started to tell me it was time to go. he was still his outgoing, lovable self, but just didn't seem to have the energy for the marathon lap sitting and purring sessions we were used to. i started giving him injections, which seemed to give him a little relief, but his actions spoke volumes. he stopped eating and looked increasingly uncomfortable. on sunday, after not moving all day, he suddenly went to the door and began to howl. i knew what he was saying, 'let me go'.

it's so hard to give the ultimate gift and required complete sacrifice of what i wanted most at that moment: just a few more moments with him. but i know to wait any longer would have caused him undue suffering. i was able to give him a quiet, peaceful passage. i arranged to have it done at home, and he lay trustingly in my lap. no struggle, no indication that he wanted to stay. his squinting eyes looked at me with utter trust, looking to me to 'do something', to make him comfortable, and i knew i had to be strong for him.

now i'm not as strong. now there's a large spike sized hole in my heart and i miss him terribly. but, of course, more than that, i'm so, so grateful to have such a rad cat. in the lower moments i find myself cursing the hard-wiring of humans. it seems cruel to be given a capacity to love so much, only to have it taken away, as if it was nothing. but there in lies, i think, a value of our existence here: to hold our own experiences and memories to be true and real. what is remembered lives.

this podcast isn't very reflective of all this. the beginning of my week was full of normal experiences, all bent to my will to avoid the impending, awful truth. it all came down on saturday, really. i'm sure next week's podcast will be quite solemn indeed.

5-03-09 - Sunday - Green Flag - Growing - All The Way

5-04-09 - Monday - Vertical Slum - Swell Maps - A Trip To Marineville

5-05-09 - Tuesday - Negativland - Neu! - Neu 1

5-06-09 - Wednesday - The Fix - Elbow - The Seldom Seen Kid

5-07-09 - Thursday - Brazilian Flower - Jean-Jaques Perrey -

5-08-09 - Friday - Just Like You - Roxy Music - Stranded

5-09-09 - Saturday - Goodbye - Kevin Shields - Lost in Translation Soundtrack